By Kevin Sheehan, Special Columnist
“Vivus: An Exposition Of A Volatile Mind” by Kevin Sheehan is available in digital and in print on Amazon.com!
Regardless of content, this column is designed to help others expand their way of thinking and promote creativity, empathy, and thought in general.
Along with the new year coming, it always brings forth a prompt for change. Examinations of what can be done differently, priorities given to different pursuits. Along comes with it the constant lurking feeling of “Am I doing enough? Am I being the best I can be?”
One of the main things I talk about frequently in my column is the need to keep furthering yourself, to keep progressing yourself and striving for your dreams. You can’t let fear get in your way. Another recurring theme is making paces for change, and if you aren’t happy, to initiate a difference and keep moving forward to not only make life productive, but enjoyable.
With those things in mind, it is with both a heavy and apprehensive heart that I will not be contributing to this newspaper as much this coming year.
I could say that it is because of time, and with my custody being increased with my children, my time is more limited. I could say it is because I want to spend more time on other pursuits that might be more profitable for myself, even though it might sacrifice some other pursuits. I could say it is because I want to focus more time on my books, and continue to focus my work on those without the distraction of my column.
I could say all of that, or I could just be completely honest and say that I am not happy with this column anymore. It is to no fault of anyone else, but with the consistent themes of progression and empathy, only so much can be said. While repetition for emphasis is important, repetition without proof becomes empty. I have been struggling to come up with different topics for some time, and when I sit and publish work that I am not necessarily proud of, it is hard for me to enjoy it.
So I am taking a hiatus. I am not stopping writing, but I want to rediscover the love I had for it, and branch out in other areas. For instance, about two weeks ago I entered a national poetry competition, and I have been eagerly waiting the results. Sadly, I have been more excited about that than I have any other writing-related aspect of my life in awhile.
It is also hard for me to not be hypocritical. I always talk about doing your best, I always talk about moving ahead, but I feel like a hypocrite every time I publish an article with the thought “It’s good enough” rather than “its good.” If I continue this trend, if I continue to stay in this endless loop, all of my words and the meaning behind it become vanity and meaningless.
It is time to live what I preach. It is time to move ahead and continue to follow joy, because joy is a fluid state. Just because you may hold it doesn’t mean it won’t slip through your fingers. Joy is a place that can leave you, and it is up to you to follow it.
This column has allowed me to do a lot of things. I have been able to wish a lot of friends well. I have been able to talk things out on paper of what is in my head for others to read. Lastly, nothing makes me quite happier when walking by a green newspaper box in St. Cloud with my kids and pulling a paper out and showing my kids my name is in there.
But in the end, if I am to write for others, I need to write for myself too. If I am not proud of what I have written, then it is not worthy enough for your eyes or attention. Don’t be mistaken, I am not quitting writing, or even quitting writing permanently for this newspaper. I am just on a hiatus. If you see me around town though, feel free to ask me what is going on, because whether I write about it or not, I’m Still Thinking.
I love you all.