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NOTHING LIKE GRANDCHILDREN

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By:  Michael Aun, http://www.aunline.com

Grandchildren always make you ask yourself… “Why didn’t we have more kids?”   Grand’s are fun and creative.   When they are done wearing you out, you can ship them off to the common enemy, their parents.

     When my granddaughters come over, their first choice is to swim… but a close second is to go to the two extra bedrooms down the hall from my man cave.  They have commandeered both rooms and half the hallway as their personal workshop.

Ava and Ashley are avid readers and I suspect they get a lot of their ideas from the many books they are always hauling around.

One summer afternoon, I arrived home to find the two bedrooms roped off in the hall.  Actually, there was a piece of tape with a sign saying, “Sea Ship Test,” which I gather was the fantasy game of the day.

The cruise ship chef, Ava, my youngest granddaughter, was about to open for lunch.  Unknown to Chef Ava, there was a mystery Guest Inspector on board doing an analysis of the restaurant, her sister Ashley.

     Rather than embellish, as I have been known to do, let me just share with you what my other granddaughter (Inspector Ashley) wrote about her experience, misspelled words and all (there is no spell check when you handwrite).

ü  Very quick seating… (Is that because I’m the only one here?)

ü  Asked woriedly if I was the health inspector.  (I just laughed and said I was writing a book).

ü  Pretty slow on the drink.

ü  Food prepared remontly quick.

ü  Seated me at a book shelf.

ü  Entertainment (a toothless head snapping at my hair and shooting me, most likely a dragon).

ü  Maybe misjujed this place (I might not post this in the newspaper).

ü  It helps to have something to use against someone (I hid this with my hidden sea ship menus).

ü  I was totally wrong!  The pie slices are real!

ü  The menu pricing was reasonable.  Shrimp- $1.50, Fish- $2.19, Crab- $3.40.

ü  There was even a kid’s menu.  Fish sticks- $4.55, Chicken-$2.30, Fried Fish- $1.65, Diet drink- $5.00, Water $2.00, Beer- $150.00, Apple Juce- $1.60, Orange Juce $1.60.  (Editor’s note… not sure why the beer was on the kid’s menu but at $150.00… I won’t be drinking at this meal).

ü  I really would have like to have visited the mall but there was a sign up saying “Mall Closed.”  (I just turned it around where it said “Mall Open.”)

It is a wonderful thing to sit back and watch the creativity of children unfold.  Usually we are totally unaware of the things they notice when they are out and about with us.  It takes the occasional espionage of rummaging through their signs and notes in the area labeled “OFFICE – NO ADMITANCE!” to see what they are up to.

     Of the many things they love to do their favorite is to visit with their twin cousins, Spike (Keenan) and Yogi (Cameron).  It was much easier when the boys were smaller but now Ava in particular has a tough time lifting them, especially in the pool.

The good news is all four have fish blood running through their veins and while the twins do not swim yet, their two personal instructors will have them up to speed before the summer is over.  All four will be doing diving contests soon.

Speaking of diving contests, it drives Ava and Ashley absolutely nuts that both always end the day with identical scores.  I found nothing motivates more than a scoreless tie.

     Like the late Clemson Football Coach Frank Howard used to say “A tie is like kissing your sister.”  All I can hope for is they will show up the next day just as anxious to break that tie.

I am not sure what Heaven will actually look like but it has to include grandchildren in the mix.  There is nothing like them.

     Michael Aun, CPAE Speaker Hall of Fame® is a contributing author of the 26-volume series “Build a Better You – Starting Now!” Volume 5.